Thursday, May 26, 2011

I Wouldn't Change it for Anything...

I thank God every single day for blessing me with twins. Twins are not always an easy feat. Hell, one baby isn't an easy feat. But throw in a second, at the same exact age, and that throws it all off. But I wouldn't trade it for the world.

I have had the most amazing two years of my life with Connor and Merasia, and I know I am in for many, many more amazing years of my life as they continue to grow. I think back to the days when they were babies, and I miss them terribly. Don't get me wrong...I LOVE where we are now, and the age they are now, but I would also love to be able to go back to when they were little babies, and re-live parts of our life then. I soaked up every single second then, and I strive to do that now as they are older, but sometimes it's a little more difficult.

 Every baby is a miracle, and twins are definitely so! It's amazing to me to think of them sharing a womb, and the bond they created from the moment they were conceived. To see that bond in real life, from the day they were born, to now, is even more amazing. Everything they do amazes me.
While I am forever grateful to God for choosing us to be the parents of twins, I don't always take time to thank Him or to soak in the gratefulness. There are many times the twins make me want to pull every single strand of my hair out, one by one. Like when Merasia repeatedly pushed her brother so forcefully that he slams into the wall or the stove or to the floor. Or when Connor bites Merasia so hard he leaves a scar that can still be seen several months later. Or when they both tag team their baby brother and hit him or kick him. Or when multiple times a day, Merasia says "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" until I frustratingly reply "WHAT??" Only to hear her say "Hi!" and run off giggling. These are the times I forget to be thankful. These are the times I might raise my voice to them more than I am proud of. These are the times where I forget that God chose me to be their mother for a reason. HE knew I could handle it, and He is simply giving me this challenge to help me grow as a person, as a mother. He's not doing it to torture me or make me regret having children. I would never, ever regret having my children. But sometimes, "What were we thinking??" occasionally crosses my mind. ;-)

But...when I discipline Merasia for pushing Connor and she gives me a big hug and pats my back, I forget all about my frustration and anger. When she says sorry to her brother and gives him a big hug and kiss, I forget all about my frustration and anger. When Connor puts his head down in shame and walks to the corner for a time out after biting his sister, it melts my heart. I stand my ground through the discipline part, and then he gives me a big hug and says sorry and again, I forget all about my frustration and anger. When they tell me long, drawn out, made up stories...or when they sing me the cutest songs in their cute little voices...when they come up to me and hug or kiss me for no reason...when I think back to when they were itty bitty babies and I would just sit and stare at them for hours, amazed at their beauty....and now, when they won't sit still long enough for me to dress them, let alone cuddle and stare at them for hours....or when I go in to their room to check on them at night and find them in the same bed, cuddling each heart melts every time, and those are the moments I forget my frustration and anger when they are misbehaving and being normal 2 year olds. These are the moment I say a quiet prayer, thanking God for choosing me to be the most blessed mommy to Connor and Merasia.

Life with twins is incredible, amazing, crazy, frustrating, wild, sad,'s every emotion rolled into one......

But I wouldn't change it for anything.

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1 comment:

Eliza Rae said...

That's such a sweet post. And SO TRUE! I only have 1 child so I have no clue what it's like to mother 2 children this age. But I do know what it's like to mother one. Some days I feel like I want to scream and just close myself in my room because she's driving me absolutely crazy. Then she'll come give me a hug and say, "I love you mommy." or "Hold me." Then the anger all goes away. Then I also feel like a jerk for being so mad. When I'm mad though I've found that if I pray and thank God for her right then it's not so bad. Though it's hard to remember to do that in situations sometimes it really works. It gives you time to think and calm down and realize that it's not that bad. Even if your kid is pouring baking soda all over the kitchen floor for the 3rd time in a month and making a huge mess while you pray. It's worth it to just stop and pray and put things into perspective. Baking soda is $.50, the floor is easily cleanable, if you loose your temper and discipline your child while you're angry you could over do it. So pray then put your kid in time out while you clean up the mess. Then talk to them about what they did wrong and why they shouldn't do it. It's more effective for both of you. Or in your case, all 3 of you. :)