If you know me, you know I love country music. There's just something about a good country song, sung by the right person (or in this case, people), that tells a remarkable, touching, or funny story, or just brings back special memories for you.
Brad Paisley's newest song, with Carrie Underwood, "Remind Me," does just that for me.
In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, and even more so in life with kids, we forget about how things used to be. After being together for several years or even several months, things can tend to get "routine." The spark that may have been there in your relationship with your significant other when you first met may not spark as brightly anymore. Things may get boring...and not just intimacy, but everyday moments with your spouse can get this way too.
When you first meet, there's an obvious attraction to one another, that leads to a relationship starting at all. That spark that started that attraction still hangs around, and then the months and years go by, and maybe a few kids are added to your lives...and things just get mundane. It's the same thing every day, instead of the spontaneity and youthful excitement that used to be there.
It's hard to remember to take time with each other every day, or at least on some sort of a regular basis. It's hard to remind each other of that spark you once had, of the special moments you once shared regularly, of the things that attracted you to each other to begin with. But it's something that all couples, married or not, need to remember to do. It keeps your love alive, and especially the bond you both share.
This song does that for me. It brings me back to the early days of my relationship with Frank.
From that first chance meeting at a local restaurant/bar (Bonz...now Moogs Place! LOL), to our first date, the first time we were intimate together, the first night we spent together, all the times I lied to my parents just to be able to spend a little bit of time with him (needless to say, they didn't quite approve of our relationship at first....), our first apartment together, our engagement (also at Bonz...appropriate since it's where we met :-) ), our wedding day and night...I could go on for days.
And then I look at our life now. I would not change one second of the life we have now. We have a beautiful family, and our children remind us every second of every day how to live life to it's fullest. But at the same time, there's no more spontaneity or excitement like there was in those early months and years of our relationship.
Don't get me wrong; we're still intimate on a regular basis. (3 kids don't just make themselves ya know!) But I do feel like telling Frank to remind me of the way we used to be...and I'm sure he feels the same way sometimes. The lyrics of this song speak perfectly to this...
We didn't care if people stared,
We'd make out in a crowd somewhere,
Somebody'd tell us to get a room,
It's hard to believe that was me and you.
Now we keep saying that we're OK,
But I don't want to settle for good not great,
I miss the way that it felt back then, I wanna feel that way again...
This was us...the typical, young couple in the "honeymoon" phase of new, summer love...tons of PDA and all that jazz...now, we barely kiss at all some days! I do miss the way it felt back then. We had some terrible times early on though as well, and those I could definitely do without re living. But the good moments, the "making out in a crowd somewhere" moments, I'd give anything to have go back and re live those times again, if even for a little while.
Now, don't get me wrong again. We are SO in love still. There's just not a whole lot of times we show it, to ourselves or to each other. Back then, early on, we couldn't get enough of each other. Today, sometimes we get TOO much of each other! There are days I could strangle Frank...and I am sure there are many times he feels the same towards me. It doesn't mean we love each other any less, it's just the monotony of life as we grow and change and settle into a life together.
Remember the airport dropping me off,
We were kissing goodbye and we couldn't stop,I felt bad cause you missed your flight,But that meant we had one more night...
Do you remember how it used to be,
We'd turn out the lights and we didn't just sleep,Remind me, baby, remind me...
Oh, so on fire, so in love,
That look in your eyes that I miss so much,
Remind me, baby, remind me...
As parents, there aren't many nights we turn out the lights and stay awake...LOL Pure exhaustion of the day from taking care of the house and the kids and from Frank working all day hits us as we collapse into bed, give each other a half-hearted peck on the lips or sometimes the cheek, and mumble good night. Did it used to be like that? HELL NO. I don't think I need to go into much more detail on this...but I do miss those nights when Frank would look at me with more love than I had ever experience before, and we'd start out snuggling on our way to sleep, and find ourselves entangled in each other and the sheets before the night was over.
I wanna feel that way,
Yeah, I wanna hold you close,Oh, if you still love me,
Don't just assume I know...
I think this is something couples do all too often. Just assume you still love each other, but not say it nearly enough. You can never say the words "I love you" too much. We can't just assume each of us knows that the other loves us. Of course deep down, I'm sure we know. But there's nothing like just hearing it periodically. You don't have to over use it, but saying it out of the blue is a nice surprise sometimes too. :-)
Do you remember the way it felt?
You mean back when we couldn't control ourselves?
Yeah, remind me...
There were many days and nights we couldn't control ourselves early on in our relationship. Which is probably how we got so intimately creative at times... LOL
All those things that you used to do,
That made me fall in love with you,
Remind me, oh, baby, remind me...
If someone were to ask me why I fell in love with Frank, I could easily tell you. He's incredibly sexy (to me!), has a great sense of humor and never ceases to keep me laughing, is a sweetheart, accepting of everyone, even people he barely knows, can make friends and win people over easily with his great personality, is incredibly handy to have around and can fix anything...LITERALLY. He's a great friend to his buddies, and would give the shirt off his back to anyone that needed it. He works hard to provide for his family, and is an amazing father to our children. There's lots more I could add here, but it would take pages upon pages. I am reminded everyday about why I fell in love with him. When I see him off to work for a 10 or 12 hour day and never hear one complaint. When he plays with the kids for hours, or takes over bedtime duty to give me a break. When he gets up at night with Mason to let me get some sleep, after he has worked all day and has to be back at work in the morning. When he makes dinner, helps clean the house, says something that makes me laugh or brings back special memories or something sweet that melts my heart into a million pieces.
Yeah, you'd wake up in my old t-shirt,
All those mornings I was late for work,
What husband, at one time or another, has NOT been late for work? For the obvious reason here...
When that spontaneity and the mood hits, you just gotta take care of that "itch," if you catch my drift. ;-)
In all seriousness, there's no need to be sickeningly sweet with each other. There's no need for constant PDA or to live life like 2 young, raging hormone teenagers. But a little reminder to each other now and then about the spark that brought you together in the first place is something to be appreciated and cherished. Life is too short, and it doesn't take much time out of our busy lives to remind each other why we fell in love in the first place.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥