Sunday, August 12, 2012

Let the Journey Begin..Again!

You could call us crazy. You could call us insane. You could even call us psychotic. Love it or hate it, we are doing it. We are doing it no matter what anyone else says.

What is it we are doing, you might be asking yourself?

We are trying for our 4th baby!

Well, actually, we have been "trying" for number 4 since last fall, but as everyone that knows us already knows, we don't get pregnant without a little help from a tiny pill that helps my ovaries do their job of ovulating with each cycle.

But we stopped birth control and just did our thing until now. We figured if it happened on it's own by some miracle before now, then we would take it and rejoice in the miracle. It did, in fact, happen a few months ago, but sadly, we miscarried yet again. It has been rare that we have conceived on our own, but when we do, it usually ends in miscarriage for whatever reason. We conceived the twins and Mason with the use of Clomid, and had successful and flawless pregnancies for all. We didn't want to get the Clomid back when we first started "trying" for number 4, because we know it only takes a month or two for us to conceive on the Clomid, and we were trying to plan our 4th a little better, to have a warmer due date. All 3 of our children right now have winter birthdays...the twins in January and Mason in March. We really wanted at least one of our children to have a spring/summer/fall due date...anything but another snowy, winter one! 

I had an appointment last week with a new OBGYN at the Women's Center I have gone to for my last pregnancies. His name is Dr. Ellis, and this was my first time meeting him. I LOVED HIM!!

I went in to the appointment, expecting that I needed to plead my case to get the Clomid, as I have had to do in the past with every other doctor. They always want to try to scare us out of using it again, or want us to wait for one reason or another, when the reality is, it's MY body, and OUR choice. But not with Dr. Ellis. When I told him we had tried for a bit without it to no avail, his words were simply,

"We know what works for you, and we know what doesn't. We know Clomid works well for you, so I don't see any reason to try to do anything different or put it off longer then you would like. Why try to reinvent the wheel?"

I rejoiced at that statement! I told him he had no idea how much I had wanted to hear those words, or something similar, from any of the other doctors I had seen in the past. The doctor who first gave me the Clomid when we conceived the twins left after the twins were born, and I have not met a doctor that I liked as much as him, until now. He was so relaxed about the whole deal, shared his stories of his brother who has twins as well, and said he would call the Clomid in for me, and he would call in 40 (in the past the doctor has called in only 5 at a time, which is as many as I need for one cycle), and that I could choose to start off at 50 milligrams myself, or go right to 100. We have always conceived on the 100 milligrams in the past. 

So, all in all it was an amazing appointment, and now we have the meds we need, and the journey to baby number 4 is closer than it has ever been! We will be pregnant in a month or two, and we are absolutely over the top excited!!!

When we first had the twins, we said that was it, no more. And then a few months later we got the baby itch and decided we would try again when they were a year. So, we got Mason. While I was pregnant with Mason, we decided 4 was a good number to stop at. It was even, and just a good number for us. So, this is looking like it will be our last.

To be completely honest, it's sad to think this could be the last time I am pregnant, and the last time I will ever give birth and feel an innocent, amazing precious baby moving and kicking inside my womb. Who knows what the future holds for 5 or 10 years down the road, but right now, this will be our last. I want to savor every single second of the pregnancy and birth experience this time around. There are several things that are going to be different with this pregnancy. For starters, we are not going to find out the sex. With the twins, we HAD to. They were our first, and everyone was dying to know, us included! I am glad we found out too. With Mason, Frank didn't want to know, but I did, so I was going to find out and keep it secret from him until he was born. He wasn't able to go to the appointment with me anyway, but when I got home I was so excited and dying to tell him, so I begged him to let me tell him and he guessed it right off, so we knew. This time, we really want to know what it's like to not find out just once. I have heard so many stories about how neat it is to not know until the day the baby is born, and for the added excitement of finding out what it is when he/she is born. I have heard it makes labor even more exciting because of the extra element of surprise. I think if we stick with this, we will at least have the ultrasound tech put what the sex of the baby is in our file that our doctor will see, so IF we change our mind later in the pregnancy, we can just ask our doctor to tell us so we still have that option open. But, we have everything we pretty much need for a boy or a girl, since everything is neutral so the main thing will be bedding and clothes. The travel system (car seat and stroller combo), swing, bouncy seat, high chair, etc. are all neutral. The only things we will need are bedding, a crib, and clothing, blankets, etc. 

Another big difference this time around is that we will be having a home birth. Words cannot describe how excited we are for this change! We have been exploring the option of home birth for quite some time now. I am a fan of the Duggar family ("19 Kids and Counting") and their oldest son  Josh and his wife Anna have had 2 home births, both televised, and it intrigued me greatly. But I think the one thing that really turned me on to that idea was watching the show "Sister Wives" and seeing Robin (wife number 4) give birth to her first child with Kody in their home and how peaceful and amazing it really was. My birth with Mason was very peaceful, in the hospital. Everything I did with his labor and delivery, I could have easily done in the comfort of my own home. 

In our state, every health insurance agency was required to cover a home birth as of a year or two ago, and after doing a little extra research we found out that is definitely the case with our particular health insurance, so that is not an issue. We found a naturopathic physician/midwife nearby who does home birth, and we met with her several months ago. We LOVED her! We asked her all of the necessary questions one would ask about a home birth. How it works, what exactly her role is besides the obvious, what equipment she has for emergency situations, what types of emergency situations is she prepared for and able to handle at home, etc. She comes fully equipped with oxygen and is fully prepared for every common emergency that could come up during a routine labor and delivery. The other thing that made us decide on a home birth is the fact that we do live so close to the hospital, that if something were to happen, we can get there in a matter of seconds.

According to the doctor/midwife we met with and our doula, I am a perfect candidate for a home birth, because I do have such quick and easy labors and deliveries. The twins labor was 4 hours, and Mason's was the same. Both were completely natural, no drugs or interventions, not even a Tylenol! Mason's was perhaps slightly more natural then the twins, since we knew more about the medical field and certain interventions that were not necessary by that time, and could refuse a lot of things that had happened with the twins. If we had known back then, we would have refused them then too. But, that's besides the point.

I have never had a bad experience in the hospital with our births. The doctors and nurses have all been wonderful both times, and we have just had really easy and great stays. But being as this is our last baby, I really want to at least try the home birth, and if I don't enjoy it, then who cares? We tried it and know that it's not for us. But I have no doubt we will be happy with that choice when baby number 4 arrives. It's going to be so nice to not have to pack a hospital bag and forget stuff, to be able to sleep in our own bed, be in my own environment for labor and delivery, not have doctors and nurses coming in every hour at night to check on us or bother us, have the baby be in his/her own bassinet or crib and be able to use the swing or bouncy seat right off if we need to. There are just so many positives to this! Something Frank will be happy about is being able to sleep in our own bed! He has been stuck with horribly uncomfortable hospital chairs or emergency room stretchers in the past, and has never gotten good, comfortable sleep while in the hospital with me and a new baby, so this will be Heaven for him!

All in all, we have so much to look forward to this time around, and I can't wait to welcome a 4th baby to our little family! I will keep you all updated, I promise! ;) 

For now, all I can say is STAY TUNED!! 

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